April 2010
“Nakakainis ng mga Jejemons”
– Robert (Super JEJEMON daw?!?!?!?!?!)
Joke fail.... :)) (epic fail si RObert)
Robert Evangelista: ok, knock knock
Kibut Sy: sino yun?
Robert Evangelista: anu ba yan
Robert Evangelista: ayusin mo
Kibut Sy: haha
Kibut Sy: hus der
Robert Evangelista: Araneta Coliseum
Kibut Sy: araneta hu
Robert Evangelista: Bahay kubo, kahit munti
Ang halaman doon ay sari-sari
Singkamas at talong
Sigarilyas at mani
Sitaw, bataw, patani
Kundol, patola, upo't kalabasa
Labanos, mustasa
Sibuyas, kamatis
Bawang at luya
Sa paligid nito puno ng linga.
Kibut Sy: err
Kibut Sy: wla nmn
Robert Evangelista: hahaha malamang wala diyan ang Araneta.. nasa Cubao
Robert Evangelista: hahahaha
Kibut Sy: err...
Kibut Sy: kaw lng natawa
gago kayong dalawa......
reblog with your middle name
joanlavigne10:
amayaroxii:
haebuap:
dearbakla:
thunderandrain:
dearbakla:
kidaokagee:
nakikiuso:
dearbakla:
(via tylerdouglasmonroe)
Ayala
Zobel de Ayala
Pastillas de Leche
Dorschner
Milby.
Knowles
malaykosayo
Reformo :]]
Del Carmen \m/
Ebido
ZODIAC SIGNS! :D
whenwillyoubemine:
kissthatthangaway:
barbieisabitch:
nisdas28:
karavelasquez:
chrstllthrs:
iamdefyinggravity:
krisancenteno:
futureceo:
xxceejayargee:
35heart12:
rawrmeanslove:
GEMINI - CRAVES SEX A LOT
(5/21-6/21) Outgoing. Lovable. Extremely energetic. Spontaneous. Not one to mess with. Funny. Excellent kisser. EXTREMELY adorable. Good personalities. Loves...
“God is perfect, but God made Jejemons perfectly tanga”
– Robert the JejeExorcist
Reblog if you're 13,14,15,16,17,18,19 years old.
joanlavigne10:
elprincexa:
imyourhearteater:
akosijha:
ieatlaptops:
19xixniwrenuoyevoli:
ielle28:
shanjay:
soinlove11:
-imadreamer:
jorese:
heydudeitskim:
monomial:
ientan:
rchboy:
punishedillusions:
darlingyouaretheonlyexception:
number19:
carmsgn18:
bestdudetteever:
shatzz2o:
krispykangkong:
sweetrevenge96:
zhelle-leeshi:
angelicperiwinkle:
mikezkulet08:
...
An Atheist Professor of Philosophy was speaking to...
Professor : You are a Christian, aren't you, son?
Student : Yes, sir.
Professor : So, you believe in GOD?
Student : Absolutely, sir.
Professor : Is GOD good?
Student : Sure.
Professor : Is GOD ALL - POWERFUL?
Student : Yes.
Professor : My Brother died of cancer even though he prayed to GOD to heal him. Most of us would attempt to help others who are ill. But GOD didn't. How is this GOD good then? Hmm?
(Student was silent)
Professor : You can't answer, can you? Let's start again, young fella. Is GOD Good?
Student : Yes.
Professor : Is Satan good?
Student : No.
Professor : Where does Satan come from?
Student : From...GOD...
Professor : That's right. Tell me son, is there evil in this World?
Student : Yes.
Professor : Evil is everywhere, isn't it? And GOD did make everything. Correct?
Student : Yes.
Professor : So who created evil?
(Student did not answer)
Professor : Is there Sickness? Immorality? Hatred? Ugliness? All these terrible things exist in the World, don't they?
Student : Yes, sir.
Professor : So, who created them?
(Student had no answer)
Professor : Science says you have 5 Senses you use to Identify and Observe The World around you. Tell me, son...have you ever feen GOD?
Student : No, sir.
Professor : Tell us if you have ever heard your GOD?
Student : No, sir.
Professor : Have you ever Felt your GOD, Tasted your GOD, Smelt your GOD? Have you ever had any Sensory Perception of GOD for that matter?
Student : No, sir. I'm afraid I haven't.
Professor : Yet you still believe in HIM?
Student : Yes.
Professor : According to Empirical, Testable, Demonstrable Protocol, Science says your GOD doesn't exist. What do you say to that, son?
Student : Nothing. I only have my Faith.
Professor : Yes, Faith. And that is the problem Science has.
Student : Professor, is there such a thing as Heat?
Professor : Yes.
Student : And is there such a thing as Cold?
Professor : Yes.
Student : No, sir. There isn't...
(The Lecture Theatre became very quiet with this turn of events)
Student : Sir, you can have Lots of Heat, even More Heat, Superheat,
Mega Heat, White Heat, a Little Heat or No Heat. But we don't have anything called Cold. We can hit 458 Degrees below Zero
Which is No Heat, but we can't go any further after that.
There is no such thing as Cold.
Cold is only a Word we use to describe the Absence of Heat.
We cannot Measure Cold.
Heat is Energy.
Cold is Not the Opposite of Heat, sir, just the Absence of it.
(There was pin-drop dilence in the Lecture Theatre)
Student : What about Darkness, Professor? Is there such a thing as
Darkness?
Professor : Yes. What is Night if there isn't Darkness?
Student : You're wrong again, sir. Darkness is the Absence of
Something.
You can have Low Light, Normal Light, Bright Light, Flashing Light...
But if you have No Light constantly, you have nothing and its
Called Darkness, isn't it? In reality, Darkness isn't. If it is,
You would be able to make Darkness Darker, wouldn't you?
Professor : So what is the point you are making, young man?
Student : Sir, my point is, your Philosophical Premise is flawed.
Professor : Flawed? Can you explain how?
Student : Sir, you are working on the Premise of Duality. You argue
There is Life and then there is Death, a Good GOD and a Bad GOD. You are
Viewing the Concept of GOD as something finite, something we can measure.
Sir, Science can't even explain a Thought. It uses Electricity and
Magnetism, but has never seen, much less fully understood either one.
To view Death as the Opposite of Life is to be ignorant of the fact that
Death cannot exist as a Substantive Thing.
Death is Not the Opposite of Life, just the Absence of it
Now tell me, Professor, do you teach your Students that they evolved from
a Monkey?
Professor : If you are referring to the Natural Evolutionary Process,
yes, of course, I do.
Student : Have you ever observed Evolution with your own eyes, sir?
(The Professor shook his head with a smile, beginning to realize where the
argument was going)
Student : Since no one has ever observed the Process of Evolution at
work and Cannot even prove that this Process is an On-Going Endeavor,
Are you not teaching your Opinion, sir?
Are you not a Scientist but a Preacher?
(The Class was in uproar)
Student : Is there anyone in the Class who has ever seen the
Professor's brain?
(The Class broke out into laughter)
Student : Is there anyone here who has ever heard the Professor's
brain, felt it, touched or smelt it?...
No one appears to have done so.
So, according to the Established Rules of Empirical, Stable, Demonstrable
Protocol, Science says that you have No Brain, sir. With all due respect,
sir, how do we then trust your lectures, sir?
(The Room was silent. The Professor stared at the student, his face
unfathomable)
Professor : I guess you'll have to take them on Faith, son.
Student : That is it sir...Exactly!
The Link between Man & GOD is FAITH.
That is all that Keeps Things Alive and Moving.
That student was ALBERT EINSTEIN.
}--> Parang may mali... Diba si Albert Einstein ay isang Jewish?? Bakit sinabi kanina, Christian???
“Is mayonnaise an instrument?”
– Patrick Star (via estong101)
- Hahahaha I love Mayo…
Hahaha pati MMDA Officer naadik kay Inday!!!...
Minsan ay nagpasama ang amo ni Inday sa kanya para mag-grocery. Dahil sa tindi ng trapik nung araw na yun, napilitan silang maghanap ng ibang daan.
Pag-pasok sa kalye, ay bigla na lang may sumulpot na MMDA at pinahinto sila.
Amo: Shit. Badtrip naman.
Inday: Great! (being sarcastic)
Lumapit si manong MMDA sa bintana ng amo ni Inday.
Manong MMDA: Sir, di niyo ba alam na one way po itong...
Nasali si Inday sa 1 vs 100 (Alternate Ending)
Umabot na sa 20,000-peso question si Inday. Isa na lang ang natitirang mob member na si Manang. Pagod na si Doods dahil lagi na lang napapahiya.
Edu: Ok Inday, last question na. Pag nasagot mo ito ng tama you will go home with 2 million pesos. If not, you will go home with nothing! Ang problema ay wala ka ng help na natitira at…
Inday: Mr. Manzano, what would any help do with only 1 mob...
Nasali si Inday sa 1 vs 100 (Part 8 of 8), Grabe,...
Umabot na sa puntong nasa halagang P10,000 na ang isang tanong. 4 na lang ang natitirang mob members at P414,000 ang laman ng prize pool.
Edu: Inday, 4 na lang ang mob members na naiiwan. Dalawang unbeatable, isang propesor ng Philosophy sa UP at may isa pang katulong ang natitira. (Napatingin si Edu sa floor director tilang di makapaniwala sa nabasa nya sa prompter).
Edu: Anyway, maaga pa...
Nasali si Inday sa 1 vs 100 (Part 7 of 8)
Edu: It is now 1!!!! versus…18!!!
Edu: Inday, itong next question ay may halagang 6,000 pesos. Pag ikaw ay nasa MRT, saang estasyon ka dapat sumakay para mabilis makarating sa Trinoma Mall? Is it A, Buendia? B, Ayala or C, Magallanes? Mob members please key in your answer!
Edu: Alam mo ba ang Trinoma mall Inday? San ka ba madalas sa day-off mo? Sa Araneta ba? or sa Megamall? Nakarating ka...
Nasali si Inday sa 1 vs 100 (Part 6 of 8)
Edu: Inday, it is now…1…versus 30!!!
Edu: Here’s the question na may halagang 5,000 pesos. Ang kotseng Montero ay gawa ng anong car manufacturer? Is it A, Mitsubishi? B, Toyota? .. or C, Nissan? Mob members you have six seconds to key in your answer.
Edu: Inday mahilig ka ba sa mga kotse? Ano ba ang favorite mong kotse? Yung Honda City ba? O di kaya yung bagong labas na Yaris? Familiar ka...
Nasali si Inday sa 1 vs 100 (Part 5 of 8)
Edu: It is now…1…versus….86!!
Edu: Inday, here’s your question which is worth 4,000 pesos. Sa larong Scrabble, ilang points ang katumbas ng letter “W”? Is it A, 3; B, 4; or C, 5? Wag ka munang pumindot Inday, hintayin natin ang mob. Mob members please key in your answer.
Edu: Alam mo ba Inday ang larong Scrabble? Eto yung word game na kung san…
Hindi na sya pinatapos ni Inday…
Inday: Of...
Nasali si Inday sa 1 vs 100 (Part 4 of 8)
Edu: Ok let us continue… it is now 1 vs 87!!!!
Edu: Your next question is worth 3,000 pesos. Kung ikaw ay isang blogger, ano ang madalas mong ginagawa? Is it A, magsulat, or B, makipagusap sa telepono, or C, kumanta? Mob members please key…
Di pa tapos si Edu ay sumingit kaagad si Inday…
Inday: Finally, something easier! It’s letter A, magsulat. (sabay pindot sa letter A)
Nagulat na lang...
Nasali si Inday sa 1 vs 100 (Part 3 of 8)
Edu: Ok let’s continue. It is now still 1 vs 100!!
Edu: This question is worth 2,000 pesos. Here’s the question: Ang paltik ay isang uri ng ano? Is it A, Baril? B, Kotse? or C, Tela? Mob members you have 6 seconds to key in your answer.
Inday: Oh dear! Not another one. What’s with the difficult questions early in the game?
Edu: Inday madali lang yang question na yan. Nahihirapan ka na ba...
Nasali si Inday sa 1 vs 100 (Part 2 of 8)
Edu: Ok Inday, this first question is worth 1,000 pesos. Tignan naten kung ilan sa mga mob members ang matatanggal mo dito sa first round.
Edu: Here’s the question: Sa Pinoy slang, pag sinabing nakakita ka ng mag-jowa, ano ang nakita mo? Is it A. magkapatid, B. mag-asawa, or C. mag-syota? Mob members, please key in your answer.
Inday: Oh great! Pinoy slang! Lucky me (may pagka-sarcastic...
Nasali si Inday sa 1 vs 100 (Part 1 of 8)
Edu: Susubukan ang talino mo, sasagarin ang tapang mo, kakasa ka ba kung ang kalaban mo ay isang daan? Ito ang 1 versus 100!
Edu: Magandang gabi kapamilya, ngayong gabi ay malalaman naten kung kayang tapatan ng galing ng isa ang galing ng isang daan. Pinapakilala ko ang… The Mob!! 100 players from all walks of life. Sino ba ang makakalaban ng the Mob?
Edu: Let’s meet… the One!!
Umentra na...
Inday and Ederlyn at Wowowee
Naging contestants sina Inday at Ederlyn sa Wowowee.
Willie: Kapamilya, ang ating mga kalahok ngayon ay mga maid or mga yaya… mga kasambahay minsan kung tawagin. Sila ang dahilan kung baket nananatiling malinis ang bahay natin, may pagkain sa hapagkainan kung pagod tayo para magluto. Sila ang naghuhugas ng pinggan, naglalaba at nag-aalaga sa mga anak natin. Aminin na naten, mahihirapan din tayo pag wala sila.
Willie: Sige tawagin na naten ang mga unang maglalaro.
Umentra sina Inday at Ederlyn at pumwesto sa magkabilang panig ni Willie.
Kinausap muna ni Willie si Ederlyn. Excited sobra si Ederlyn, sigaw ng sigaw ng “Papiii”!!
Willie: Hello kamusta ka? Anong name mo?
Ederlyn: Ederlyn po papi!! I’m fine thanks!!! (excited talaga)
Willie: Ederlyn, taga-saang probinsya ka?
Ederlyn: I’m from here lang in Metro Manila papi!!! You’re hansam pala in personal!
Willie: Wow, thank you ha. Ilang taon ka na Ederlyn?
Ederlyn: 20 po papi!!
Willie: Ahh, kamusta mga magulang mo, nasan sila?
Ederlyn: Di ko po alam papi!! In their house lang yun siguro. I am staying with my amo.
Willie: Ahhh so sino yung nagbabantay ng bahay ngayon? Alam ba ng amo mo na nandito ka sa Wowowee?
Ederlyn: Yung amo ko po nag-stay sa house. Pinayagan nya naman ako at she also gave me bus fare to go here so I could join.
Willie: Wow, ang bait naman. Meron ka bang message para sa amo mo?
Ederlyn: Ma’am thank you po for giving me pamasahe to go here, don’t worry I will pay you. The trash at the back I will throw later, I am not finish sweeping the floor in your room. The fruit salad in the ref is already panis, don’t eat it. Pa-throw na lang po in the trash can.
Willie: Aba! Astig ka rin ah, inutusan mo pa amo mo. Sa magulang mo baka may message ka.
Ederlyn: Ahmm… Nay, Tay! How are you guys? I’m doing fine here at Wowowee. I know you are watching me. Thank you for your patronage. That’s all papi!
Willie: Nyak! O sige anong talent mo?
Ederlyn: I will sing po papi! Nothing’s gonna change my love for you!
Willie: O sige, Ladies and Gentlemen… Miss Ederlyn.
Kinuha ni Ederlyn ang mikropono at pumunta na sa gitna at nagsimulang kumanta.
Ederlyn: If I had to live my life without you near me…. The days would all be empty…
Umabot na sa chorus…
Ederlyn: Nothing’s gonna change my love for you, you know naman my love how much I love you. One thing you can be sure of, I’ll never ask for more than your love…
At natapos na rin si Ederlyn. Naghiyawan at nagtawanan ang mga tao. Pati si Willie di makatigil sa kakatawa.
Willie: Ayos ka rin Ederlyn! Lalabas siguro ito sa youtube. Anyway, eto ang five thousand pesos mo pati ang gift bag from Liveraide!!
Ederlyn: (tuwang tuwa) Thank you po Kuya Willie!!
Willie: O sige dito naman tayo sa next contestant naten.
Humarap si Willie kay Inday na mukhang nabobored.
Willie: Hi miss, anong name mo?
Inday: Hi Mr. Revillame, my name is Inday.
Willie: Aba isa pang inglesera. Ok mga katulong naten ngayon ah, nakakaaliw sila.
Naisipan din na kausapin ni Willie si Inday ng Ingles. Alam niyo naman si papi, palabiro.
Willie: So Inday, how are you today?
Inday: I just answered that question earlier. If you have nothing else left to ask, can we just continue?
Willie: Ahhmm, it’s ok. I still have some questions for you. Ahh, what province are you from?
Inday: I’m from the City of Majestic Waterfalls, Iligan.
Willie: Ahhh, that’s very nice. Is your parents there? Why don’t you greet them?
Inday: Yes, they’re there but my mom does not watch Wowowee. She usually watch The Tyra Banks Show at this time of the day. My dad seldom watches TV.
Willie: Oh I see, why doesn’t she watch Wowowee, am I not handsome or funny for her?
Inday: Let’s just say that it might have something to do with substance, plus Tyra is more pleasing to the eye than you.
Napahiya si Willie.
Willie: Ohh ok. Well greet her anyways, maybe she change the channel during commercial.
Pumayag na rin si Inday na batiin ang kanyang nanay.
Inday: Hi Mom, if you’re really watching this…
Sumingit saglit si Willie.
Willie: Inday, why don’t you greet her in your dialect?
Inday: (Tinignan ng masama si Willie) Why don’t you keep quiet for a sec and let me greet her in my own way?
Napahiya ulit si Willie…
Willie: Ok sorry, please continue.
Inday: Hi mom, please check your Paypal account to see if the money I sent you has arrived. Did you like the Marc Jacobs handbag I sent you last Christmas? Please tell Iying to catch me online so I can walk her through jailbreaking her iPod Touch. Hi to Dad, Itoy and Ikling. Love you all!
Natameme si Willie sa pagkasosyal ni Inday at ng kanyang pamilya.
Willie: Woww… How sweet naman. Can I ask you what year uhh… I mean anong year ang natapos mo sa schooling mo? Because you’re good in English, maybe you reached 4th year high school?
Inday: So what are you implying? That maids are dumb and cannot speak perfect English nor have good education? If I told you my academic achievements you might run outside and fling yourself into a speeding truck. Let’s just say that I was blessed with proper education with the help of a few scholarship grants and was able to finish college and a couple of master’s degree.
Dumugo na ang ilong ni Willie at nagpakuha muna ng tissue at tubig bago nagpatuloy.
Willie: Ahmm ok… uhh.. tama na siguro yung mga tanong. Pero bago ang lahat nais ko lang batiin ang isang special guest na dumalo ngayon dito sa studio… the lovely Kris Aquino.
Na-focus ang camera kay Kris na nakatayo sa gilid.
Kris: Hi Willie, o anoh? Diba winarn na kita tungkol dyan kay Inday kanina bago ka lumabas. Anoh, naniwala ka na?
Willie: Di ko naman kasi alam parang jinojoke mo lang ako kanina eh.
Kris: Well… gusto ko lang makita talent ni Inday kaya ako bumisita. Baka talent nya ay wawalisin itong set in under 1 minute. Ahihihi.
Willie: ‘Kaw talaga Kris iba ka kung manlait.
Talent portion na ni Inday.
Willie: Ok Inday, anong talent ang gagawin mo ngayon?
Inday: I suppose I could sing one of my favorites, Time to Say Goodbye.
Willie: Sige, Ladies and Gentleman… Ms. Inday.
Pumwesto na si Inday sa harap ng entablado. Pinatahimik niya ang audience… nakatingin lang sa kanya si Kris. Sinenyasan nya ang DJ na patugtugin ang kanyang CD dahil di kakayanin ng banda patugtugin ang kakantahin nya.
Nagsimula na si Inday kumanta…
Inday: Quando sono sola Sogno all’orrizonte E mancan le parole… Si lo so che non c’e’ luce In una stanza quando manca il sole Si non ci sei tu con me, con me…
Umabot na sa chorus at bumanat pa lalo si Inday…
Inday: Time to… say goodbye… Paesi che no ho mai Veduto e vissuto con te… Adesso si li vivro’ con te partiro’…
Nagtayuan ang karamihan sa audience, mga matatanda, foreigners, OFWs, balikbayan. Pinalakpakan si Inday… napaluha din ang iba. Pati si Kris at Willie namangha at nanood na lang sa rendition ni Inday ng kanta ni Andrea Bocelli.
Pinatapos ni Willie ang buong kanta, di akalaing kaya ng isang katulong ang kumanta ng opera.
Pagkatapos ni Inday, binigyan siya ng standing ovation ng audience, pati mga promo girls tumigil sa pagkekembot para palakpakan siya. Umalis na si Kris sa studio ng luhaan, apektado sa kanta ni Inday.
Willie: Wow!! That’s unbelievable! Ang galing ha, ang lakas pala ng boses mo. Dahil sa ginawa mong yan, ito ang 50,000 pesos para sayo at lahat ng nakadisplay dito sa likod ko, pwede mo nang iuwi. Meron dyang Magic Sing, My Marvel Taheebo at kung anu-ano pa.
Sumingit si Ederlyn.
Ederlyn: Papi ba’t saken 5,000 pesos lang? Unfair naman yun.
Willie: Gusto mo bawiin ko? Mali mali nga lyrics mo dyan. Galingan mo na lang sa laban niyo ni Inday.
Ederlyn: (natahimik na lang) Sige po papi.
Willie: Ok alam niyo na ang gagawin? Kelangan niyong mahulaan ang title ng kantang papatugtugin at kakantahin niyo pagkatapos ok? Pag di niyo naikanta ng maayos, 1 point lang. Pag-maka 2 points kayo, pasok na kayo sa next round.
Willie: Ok ready? Paunahan ito… pwesto!
Tumugtog na ang Perfect ng True Faith, umabot na sa chorus bago nahulaan ni Ederlyn ang kanta.
Edelryn: Ferfect papi!! Ferfect!!!!
Natawa na lang si Willie.
Willie: O sige pwede na rin… Perfect… Sing it!!
Ederlyn: Baby as I look into your eyes… New York ferfect… Judging from the way you meet my eye… New York Ferfect…. Ferfect….
Sumasakit ang tyan ni Willie sa kakatawa kaya’t pinatigil nya na si Ederlyn.
Willie: Hoi, san niyo ba nakuha ito? (tawa ng tawa habang kausap ang direktor)
Willie: Sorry Ederlyn pero mali na naman ang lyrics mo. Di bale bawi ka na lang sa susunod… Inday, pwede ka pang humabol. Sige pwesto!!
Tumugtog na ang Smack That ni Akon… naunahan na naman ni Ederlyn si Inday na may kausap sa kanyang cellphone.
Ederlyn: Papi Ismak Dat!! (Kinanta pa ng gaga… Ismak Dat Olonggapo… Ismak Dat Fernando Poe)
Natawa na naman si Willie.
Willie: Pambihira ka talaga. Di mo na kelangan kantahin pero tama ang sagot mo kaya’t pasok ka na!!
Tuwang tuwa si Ederlyn at di humihinto sa kakapalakpak at kakatalon.
Willie: I’m sorry Inday pero…
Natameme si Willie paglingon nya kay Inday at may kausap sa phone. Sinenyasan siya ni Inday na saglit lang.
Natapos na rin si Inday sa phone.
Inday: I’m sorry Mr. Revillame but I just got a call from the other station and they’re sending someone over to pick me up. They want to talk about guesting me and letting me sing me on their show this Sunday. I’ll just take the cash and leave the other stuff here for the other contestants. Thanks and Ciao!
Laglag-panga si Willie at pinanood na lang ang pag-alis ni Inday.
Arajaya and Inday
Arajaya was sipping her cup of brewed coffee served with hot pandesal by Coffeebean – so Filipino – so indigent – when a group of infamous people started to occupy the nearby infamous café a.k.a Starbucks. They were so noisy that Arajaya’s blood boiled – temperature almost reaching 412 kelvin.
But since Arajaya is a woman of sophistication, she decided to just ignore the crowd and let them...
Mag-a-outing sila Inday and Friends
Habang nagwawalis sa harap ng bakuran si Inday, ay napadaan si Ethan sa kanyang tricycle.
Ethan: Hi Inday. Tuloy ba yung outing naten sa Pagudpud?
Inday: Hey Ethan. I’m not sure, who’s planning anyway? Do the others already know?
Habang nag-gugupit ng mga damo si Dodong at narinig nya ang kanilang usapan.
Dodong: Mga pre, game ako dyan. Ilang araw ba tayo doon?
Inday: Well, the most suitable would be at least 2 nights but it depends on how long you guys are allowed for a furlough.
Ethan: Teka sasama ba si Manang? Hehehe, baka matangay ng alon yun.
Narinig ni Manang galing sa loob ng bakuran habang sya’y naglalaba. Huminto ito at lumapit sa kanila.
Manang: Hoi!! If you must know, I was a varsity swimmer when I was in high school so don’t underestimate my aquatic capabilities (banat nya kay Ethan). And of course, you can count me in.
Dodong: Teka si Ederlyn, text ko lang. (Ei sma b u outng pgdpud? Ksma laht)
Ethan: Wag!!! Wag na naten isama si Ederlyn, natandaan mo last time? Nag-inarte. Tapos di pa tumutulong sa paghahanda ng pagkain o kahit paglinis lang ng kinainan.
Inday: Yeah, let’s not bring any dead weight this time.
Manang: I agree!
Dodong: Ngek na text ko na!
Tumunog ang cellphone ni Dodong, galing kay Ederlyn ang message… “K! Sli aku!! May bago rn akung bikni“.
Nag-text kaagad si Dodong… “Sry wrng send“.
Dodong: Whew!
Inday: Well, let’s just discuss this over our Yahoo Groups. I have to go prepare our supper.
Ethan: Okay! Sa Yahoo Groups na lang.
Sa di kalayuan ay naririnig pala ng pulubi ang kanilang diskusyon at lumapit ito sa kanila.
Pulubi: Can I join your outing too guys? Pa-add na lang e-mail ko on your Yahoo Groups. It’s babangonako@duduruginkita.com
Napatingin na lang sa kanya sina Inday.
Nasa Simbahan si Inday... hahaha
Isang linggo nagpasyang magsimba ang pamilya Montemayor sa Mt. Carmel at ang misa ay binibigkas sa wikang Ingles. Isinama nila si Inday. Aktibo ang magasawang Montemayor sa simbahan kaya nakakasabay sila sa mga tugunan at mga awit na Ingles. Nang oras na para sa Our Father. Naghawak-hawak sila ng kamay at inawit ang “The Lord’s Prayer”.
Mga Montemayor: Our father, who art in heaven, hallowed be thy name….
Natigil sila nang bumanat pa ang ating bida.
Inday: In honor of the first group of the Holy Conclave of Cardinals who formulated the canons of the Roman Catholic Church and the sacred sacraments and of this eucharistic celebration hymn, this I sing…
Inday: (inawit na ala- Gregorian Chant) PATER noster, qui es in caelis, sanctificetur nomen tuum. Adveniat regnum tuum. Fiat voluntas tua, sicut in caelo et in terra. Panem nostrum quotidianum da nobis hodie, et dimitte nobis debita nostra sicut et nos dimittimus debitoribus nostris. Et ne nos inducas in tentationem, sed libera nos a malo. Amen.
Dumugo ang ilong ng lahat ng taong nakarinig sa kanya
May tumawag kay Inday... Hahaha
Isang hapon, habang nagpapahinga si Mrs. Montemayor sa sala at nanonood ng TV na tila parang bored ay biglang nag-ring ang phone. Dali-dalian nya itong sinagot…
Mrs. Montemayor: Hello?
Caller: Hello, may I please speak to Ms. Inocencia Binayubay?
Mrs. Montemayor: Sino kamo?
Caller: Ahh Inocencia Binayubay, is she there?
Mrs. Montemayor: Inoce… walang ganun dito… ay teka.. (naisip nyang bigla si Inday).
Mrs. Montemayor: Ahh si Inday… teka lang! (halatang may pagkainis dahil may tumatawag sa kanilang katulong).
Sumigaw sya sa kusina para tawagin si Inday.
Mrs. Montemayor: INDAY!!!!!!!! Telepon! Wag matagal ha!
Tumigil saglit si Inday sa pag-gagawa ng blueberry muffins para sagutin ang phone.
Inday: Hello?
Caller: Inocencia Binayubay?
Inday: Speaking… ahh hold on.
Sumigaw si Inday sa sala…
Inday: You can hang up now madam! I’m on the cordless!
Binaba ni Mrs. Montemayor ang telepono at napaisip sa sarili, “Aba pinagsabihan pa ako. The nerve!” Hinayaan nya na lang at nagpatuloy sa panonood ng TV.
Makalipas ang ilang minuto ay narinig nya si Inday na tinataasan na ng boses ang kausap. Pagkatapos ay lumabas sa kusina si Inday at pumunta sa sala para magpahangin sa tapat electric fan. Tila mainit ang ulo.
Na-curious si Misis.
Mrs. Montemayor: Oh sino ba yun? Inglisera mong nanay na nanghihingi na naman ng pera?
Inday: Not at all. It’s those pesky credit card telemarketers offering me a new credit line that I certainly don’t require anymore. I don’t care about their 0% credit transfers, double reward points, loans and all those things. Why can’t they take no for an answer?
Di makasagot si Mrs. Montemayor at natulala.
Napaisip na lang sya sa sarili, “Buti pa si Inday, inoofferan ng credit card… samantalang ako, ATM card lang ang meron ako… ba’t ganun ang buhay?”.
Inday: Madam, are you okay?
Translator si Inday... Hahaha
Sa isang mall…
Foreigner: Miss, do you mind translating these writings to English please? (tinuturo ang mga nakasulat sa likod ng box ng bibilhin niyang item. Nakasulat ito sa Tagalog.)
Tindera: (mangiyak-ngiyak dahil di niya alam ang translation) “Ah…the…the..fffrr..ah..”
Narinig ito ni Inday na tumitingin lamang ng mga laptop at naisipang tulungan ang tindera.
Inday: Ahm..excuse me sir, are you from Italy?
Foreigner: Yes I am! How did you know?
Inday: (smile) Oh I can perceive it from your accent. What’s the problem by the way?
Foreigner: I wanna buy this item but I can’t understand the warranty statement written here at the back. It’s written in Filipino.
Inday: Well this is a Filipino Souvenir Shop but allow me to do the translation.
(kinuha ni Inday ang box at ito na ang mga sumunod na mga pangyayari…)
Inday: Garantisce che le e gli accessori sono prividi difetti materiali e di manodopera per on periodo di un anno dalla data di acquisto. Conservare la recivuta di pagamento originale. Qualsiasi richiesta di ripariazione in garanzia dovra essere accompagnata da una prova della data de acquisto.
(akala ng Italyano English ang gagamitin ni Inday, yun pala Italian! Diba sosyal!?)
Foreigner: (laglag ang panga sabay pahid ng dugo sa kanyang ilong)
(dumanak ng dugo sa loob ng mall dahil nag-nosebleed ang lahat ng nakarinig kay Inday)
Another Ingleserang Inday Compilation
1. “With the up coming holiday, I forecast travel plans to my hometown so that i may visit my family. In line with this, may I request that my financial budget be reviewd so that i may take a portion in advance? Justification as follows: For the dual purpose of (a) finalizing my flight booking, and (b) bringing of tokens of appreciation to my parents, siblings, and cousins up to 3rd...
Astig baon ni Junior kapag si Ingleserang Inday na...
Drunken shrimp and blue lobster meat with caviar serve with milagrosa rice (red variety) and apricot sauce
Vegetables in balsamic vinegar splashed with extra virgin olive olive
Lychee and peach salad with sour cream cheese topped with lemon zests
- baon ni Junior sa daycare na inihanda ni Inday
Amo at Ingleserang Inday
Isang araw pinapangaralan ng amo si inday..
AMO: "ang batayan ng pagiging mahusay na kasambahay ay hindi nasusukat sa kakayahan sa isang mahusay na pakikipagtalastasan gamit ang salitang banyaga", sa halip ito'y masusuri sa kakayahang gampanan ang pangkalahatang gawain at pagsisilbi sa taong pinaglilingkuran. "wala sa salita kundi sa gawa" (matapang na sabi ng amo)
(sumagot naman si inday)
INDAY : "dont dare say that, because our language was derived from other languages. Its not our own. And nowadays, if you dont know how to speak the said, be universal one, you wont be able to face life's challenges. "Besides, its more crucial. You're just too old. You rotten egg!"
(tumambling ang amo dahil dinugo ang ilong kay inday)
Interview with Inday
She is now becoming one of the fastest rising Internet stars today amassing a number of followers all over the world mostly Filipinos . Already surpassing Ederlyn, Yuga, the Numa Numa boy, the Chinese Backstreet Boys and even Casey and her cam.
Inday is getting a lot of popularity today mostly from word of mouth, SMS and e-mails. Her witty comments regarding her life as a domestic helper has...
Inday with Boy Abunda and Kris Aquino-Yap
Boy Abunda: Inday, isang tanong. Diretsahan tayo. Baket ba mukhang ang lawak ng iyong pinag-aralan sa iba’t ibang larangan ng sining at teknolohiya? Ano ang nagsilbing inspirasyon sayo para gawin ito?
Inday: Boy, don’t you know how to count? Nevermind… to paraphrase Hayek, exclusive concentration on a specialty has a peculiarly baneful effect: it will not merely prevent us from being attractive company or good citizens but may impair our competence in our proper field.
Boy: Ahhh… [sabay kamot sa ulo]
Kris: Boy, pinapahiya mo naman ang show eh. Ganito dapat. Inday, what Boy meant was what made you decide to pursue the knowledge of different academic uhh … ahh subjects?
Inday: Kris my dear, it’s either you’re not satisfied with my previous answer or simply did not understand it. I’ll just assume the latter. You see, these are all simply my abiding interests and all these tributaries flow into the same river. The thought of one’s research going into ever decreasing, derivative and infertile circles, just depresses me. Getz?
Boy and Kris: [sabay nag-nosebleed at nagtawag ng commercial break]
Noong bata pa si Inday
Nanay: Day, ba’t ba ang tigas-tigas ng ulo mo?
Inday: Inay, intransigence is just normal for us juveniles.
Nanay: Day, anong nakain mo? I’m perturbed by your words.
Inday: Nay, ala namang gantihan…
ECE din si Inday!!!
Nang nakauwi si Inday matapos mamalengke, nagalit ang kanyang amo…
Amo: Inday, hindi mo ba natanggap text ko? Tinext kita sabi ko bumili ka na rin ng giniling. Selpon selpon ka pa di naman nakakareceive ng text.
Inday: It’s not that I can’t receive any messages, it’s just that I was at a place with a weak cellular signal. You see, even though longer wavelengths have the advantage of being...
